Together
by An Ordinary Riceball
Summary: Garnet couldn't remember when it started, but slowly she had kept receiving more and more mixed possible visions of Amethyst getting hurt or worse. That's when somebody noticed that she had apparently phased herself into a black long sleeved shirt. Self-harm involved. Just written out of stress, so it may seem rushed or OOC at points. I literally JUST got into SU, so be nice plz
1. Chapter 1

**Story: Together.**  
 **Summary:** **Garnet couldn't remember when it started, but slowly she had kept receiving more and more mixed possible visions of Amethyst getting hurt or _worse._ That's when somebody noticed that she had apparently phased herself into a long sleeved shirt.**

 **Warnings: Self-harm involved. PLEASE NOTE that this story may seemed rushed at some points and OOC, but it's because I wrote this more out of stress than anything else and I've literally just got into the SU fandom, so try not to be too harsh. I may edit this first chapter in the future. I'll try to update the next chapter whenever I can. Also, the reason I used Amethyst for this idea is because many people write Pearl or Steven self-harming, but I wanted to write for Amethyst since there's not a lot out of it there.**

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Amethyst had always seemed to be a fairly carefree person, but, at the same time, preferred doing and dealing with things alone. Little did many of the others know that she had had a serious problem with depression in the past. Although, most of the time she could handle it by simply dismissing it, without others noticing anything. But some days were just extremely hard to live with, and she had been a lot of those lately. And, as many could tell, just by being around her, she wasn't exactly the best at expressing her feelings in positive ways, and didn't really think things through at times. She had always been a bit... rambunctious.

However, it didn't take Garnet and Pearl long to notice how she had began withdrawing to herself more than ever and wasn't eating as much lately(not that she needed to, she supposed, since she was a gem). Pearl had scolded her several times, for not paying proper attention to details anymore or getting distracted on important missions, along with leaving bigger messes around than usual. But she still tried to act casual and such despite not feeling up to it at the slightest anymore. Even the things she used to enjoy didn't appeal to her anymore. These feelings had gotten worse after the Kindergarten incident, but only recently had she started feeling this overwhelmed. At times, it felt as though it was literally weighing her very being down.

...

Garnet couldn't remember when they started, but slowly she had kept receiving more and more mixed future visions of Amethyst getting hurt or _worse_. She couldn't tell if they were by accident or on purpose. However, when anybody tried to approach her and ask if she was feeling okay, she simply put on a facade of casualness. Still, Garnet knew better, and wasn't sure if the others could tell that something was off or not. Eventually, Ruby's side of her began to seethe, knowing that Amethyst was possibly endangering their team, yet she acted like nothing was wrong at all. Garnet considered that maybe it would be better if she stopped Amethyst from going on missions for a while until she had some time to herself. Still, why wouldn't Amethyst just let somebody in?

Sure, she could read certain possibilities into the future, but it was limited, as well as the fact that it took energy to do so, and she couldn't read a person's mind. And while, in certain ways she felt helpless, she knew she couldn't keep wasting her powers on this, because it was taking a toll on her own physique.

Even so, she couldn't just things to persist like this, so since she refused to speak on her troubles or even acknowledge them in the presence of the others, Garnet decided she would have to discuss this with Pearl to see if she too had noticed anything herself.

So, one day, Steven was preparing to go to the movie theater to watch a movie with Sadie, Lars, Sour Cream, and a few others that he had personally invited.((forgive me, I had to come up with something)) He had initially wanted to invite them all to come, and Pearl seemed to be interested, but Garnet told him that her and Pearl had something to do, but that Amethyst was free, and suggest he should invite her, which he naturally did.

When Amethyst heard about it, a small part of her almost seemed reluctant, but in the end, she decided to go, obviously trying to act casual. That's when somebody noticed that she had apparently phased herself into a dark long sleeved shirt, which seemed out of place since she always wore a tank top of sorts.

"I rarely ever see you wear long sleeves, Amethyst." Pearl commented, raising an eyebrow. "If I may inquire, what is with your sudden decision to change?"

Amethyst wasn't in a good mood to begin with, and ended up taking offense to her question and comment even though there was no logical reason. It was none of Pearl's business what kind of clothes she wore. On the other hand, Amethyst didn't really feel like arguing. She looked away briefly. "No reason. I just felt like wearing something different is all."

Pearl was about to press further, but Steven spoke first. He seemed doubtful. "Are you sure you wanna wear that, though? It's kind of hot outside..."

"Nah, I'll be fine, buddy." Amethyst shrugged, briefly patting Steven's head, nonchalantly, but yet slightly tense as if hiding something. Truthfully, it was her arms. The night beore, she had been caught up in a fit of depression, and was extremely frustrated, because she couldn't cry. She wasn't thinking straight, and punched a mirror in her room, not caring anymore at that point. In fact, if anything, she was even more irritated that that's what it took to release her emotions. Pieces of the mirror flew everywhere. Upon seeing the shattered mirror on the ground, she had grabbed a broken shard, instantly digging it straight into her 'skin' to 'feel more', as she generated blood, watching it flow down her arm. However, it wasn't something she was exactly proud of, and perhaps she was a little scared of herself after last night, but she had no intentions of letting anybody know. Besides, she had no plans of going back to _that again._

"Alright then. We should go before we're late. C'mon, Amethyst!" Steven said, pulling her out the door with him. She flinched at the contact, but allowed her to be pulled.

"Yeah, I'm comin."

Pearl looked to Garnet, who seemed to be tenser than ever. It admittedly made Pearl feel anxious. Was there something Garnet was upset with her over? With her shades, it was hard to tell what Garnet was feeling.

"Garnet...? Is everything wrong? Why did you need me to stay?" She asked, rubbing her own left arm awkwardly, eyes darting away.

"Pearl. Something is really off with Amethyst." Garnet said, her voice sounding troubled.

"...I... noticed it too... but I... I'm not sure what could be upsetting her... She has everything." Pearl stated.

"I can't be for certain, but... I think she's wearing long sleeves because she may have hurt herself."

"What...? But Amethyst hasn't been..." Pearl's eyes widened. "Oh my stars. You don't mean..."

"Yes, I do." Garnet confirmed her suspicion. "I keep getting future visions on missions and elsewhere... As such, we can only assume Amethyst is a danger to herself right now. We should to talk to her."

"I would agree, but it's not like she'd even listen, Garnet... Amethyst is simply too stubborn and set in her ways to let anybody else influence her opinions of herself, whether they are negative or positive." Pearl seemed abrasive yet distraught suddenly, folding her arms, averting her gaze as if she knew something.

Garnet couldn't deny it, but Amethyst was a friend. She wouldn't simply give up on her. She was about to say something, but Pearl suddenly tensed up, speaking. "I mean I want to help her, but she... We don't get along... I would only make things worse if I tried to..."

"No, you're wrong." Garnet said, suddenly taking her by surprise. "That's precisely why. It may be true that you and Amethyst argue a lot, but... You're also rivals. She looks up to you. That's exactly why you're just as suited confront her as I am, if not _more_."

"But I... No,... you're right... And Amethyst is my friend. I should be there for her in whatever way I can, and keep her straight."

"We'll both be there for her, Pearl. Together."

Even though they hoped that Amethyst hadn't done to herself what they thought she did, Garnet, unfortunately, was usually spot-on when she 'suspected' something.

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 **End of Chapter**

 **A/N: As I said, I'll try to update when I can. Please do review if you want.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Story: Together, Chapter 2**

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It had been a couple hours and now Amethyst felt suffocated. She had only agreed to this because Steven had seemed so hopeful, and she just couldn't bring herself to let him down when he had his heart set on this so much. She tried not to let it to show, but it was becoming extremely difficult to choke back the anxiety it was causing.

The movie had just finished, but now they were hanging around and talking. She hadn't said anything for a while, and was about to leave, planning to make an excuse to Steven later why she left early, so she really hoped that nobody would try engaging her in conversation or something.

Of course, things never really went the way Amethyst wanted them to. Right as she was about to walk off, her name was called.

"Amethyst?" Steven inquired, concerned.

"Huh?..." Amethyst felt uneasy, turning when she looked around to notice that everybody was now looking to her to respond.

"You okay, girl?" Jenny asked, startling her.

"Yeah, pffshhh... why wouldn't I be?" She replied casually even though it was eating her up inside. She couldn't remember when this nervous and tedious behavior had started, but anymore she was just... depressed and on edge, wanting nothing more than to be away from people. She knew it was causing the others problems, but she didn't really make an effort to change it, and perhaps only ended up making things worse. Maybe she should just leave the others for a while or something and get away, _if Garnet and Pearl didn't get on her case about it, of course._

One reason it might be best was because no matter what she did, the _urges_ kept eating away at her, and had only been getting worse. She'd always felt insecurities and self-loathing, but sometimes it was just harder to deal with. Especially lately, after some of the recent events.

It wasn't the first time she had returned to that bad habit, but now it was different because Rose had long since given up her physical form to bring Steven into the world. The older gem had seen in Amethyst what she couldn't see in herself and had made her feel wanted. Rose had helped her in so many ways, just as she had many others. But now, she didn't have anybody she even felt comfortable talking with down deep. Sure, there was Vidalia, but she already had her hands full enough. And she really didn't feel comfortable talking to Pearl, because the other would either get all unnecessarily worried about her, or be disgusted by her actions, telling her that she needed to stop being so childish and immature; looking down on her for not being able to handle her emotions properly. Garnet wouldn't be a good choice either, and would likely be even more angry at her for it than Pearl would be. And, above all the others, she couldn't let Steven find out. Who knew how he'd react?

Still, knowing Garnet and her future vision, she'd probably noticed something by now. Well, it wasn't like it was their business to begin with, and it wasn't like she cared. They were constantly getting mad at her and fussing at her over ever little thing she did wrong, Pearl nagging her head off over stuff, and Garnet scolding her in her own silent way, only adding to her frustrations, so what did it matter if she did the same time to herself? She suddenly felt a mix of anger and anxiety boiling up within her at the thought.

"You don't look fine at all." Jenny suddenly spoke back up after a moment, cutting her thoughts off.

Amethyst felt light-headed, knowing she needed to get away. She swallowed, jerking away when she felt a hand brush against her arm. "I'm fine."

"Yo, dude, are you feeling sick or something?" Buck asked. "You want some water?"

"Nah, I'm okay, guys, really." Amethyst shook her head, backing up.

"I think you should sit down." Jenny suggested.

"Yeah, you look like you're about to have a panic attack or something." Buck commented.

Amethyst's breathing started to pick up, and she looked around her, backing up.

"Hey, try to calm down." Sadie suddenly joined in, approaching her. "Slow down your breathing."

"Look, I said I'm fine!" Amethyst snapped, startling several of the others. Upon realizing what she'd just done, she looked away. "'m going home..."

"Wait, Amethyst-" Steven tried to say, tears in the corners of his eyes from worry for his friend, but cut himself off when Amethyst herself spoke. Everybody else was silent at this point. Lars stood in the background, wishing down deep that he could do or say something to help. But ultimately he just let the others take care of it.

"Hey, don't worry about it, Steven." Amethyst told him, trying her best to keep it in and not lash out at him. "I'm just... kinda having a rough day is all..."

Steven seemed hesitant for a moment before nodding, smiling softly. "It's fine. I understand. Take your time."

"Thanks... See you later, buddy." She struggled to smile, but it came out a sad smile. Why did he have to look so much like his mother...?

Lars couldn't stand being completely useless in this situation, so he stepped up to Amethyst, calling her attention. Sadie seemed surprised.

"Lars...?" She mumbled.

"Wait," Lars scratched the back of his head, awkwardly, as Amethyst turned to him. "look, I... I know it can be stressful at times and stuff, but if you ever need somebody to talk to, I'll... Um... be willing to listen."

"We all will." Sadie grabbed his free hand, smiling a bit.

"And me!" Steven added in, smiling as the others seemed to agree to it.

"...Thanks, guys." Amethyst forced a smirk, even though she knew she wouldn't be likely taking them upon her offer. "Welp, later, peeps."

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 **End of Chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Story: Together, Chapter 3**

 **Sorry, it probably sucks. I think I rushed things or something.**

 **Disclaimer: (I should have said this before lol.) I don't own Steven Universe.**

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When Amethyst got back, she started to head to her room, but stopped when she noticed Pearl standing in the kitchen area. Taking a couple steps closer, she realized she was washing some dishes, but judging by her facial expression, she appeared to be distracted or stressed over something, one.

And it was at that moment that Amethyst got a sudden idea, barely holding back from snickering. She was about to shape-shift into a cat, but, before she did, Pearl spoke, starling _her_ instead.

"I already know you're there, Amethyst, so don't even think about shape-shifting." She told her, matter-of-factly, yet with a small hint of confliction in her voice.

"Man, you're no fun, P." Amethyst grumbled in disappointment, concealing her anxiety, as she folded her arms.

"I'm plenty fun, Amethyst. You just have a bad sense of it is all." Pearl retorted proudly, before glancing away. "So... how did the movie go?"

"It went fine, I guess." Amethyst shrugged dismissively, before opening her mouth to change the subject, as she jumped up on the counter top.

"Where's Steven at?" Pearl asked.

"He was with his friends last I checked." Amethyst answered, nonchalantly.

"Is there a reason you left before him?"

"It's nothing important..." Amethyst muttered.

"Did you get into a fight?" Pearl accused, jumping to a worse case scenario.

" _No?_ " Amethyst glared at the accusation. "Yo, why do you always have to jump to the conclusion that I'm causing trouble somewhere? If you _must know_ , everybody started asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't want to answer and wouldn't stop. I felt cornered and ended up snapping at them, okay...? I think I was having a panic attack..."

Pearl's facial features softened when she heard this.

"Sorry, Amethyst..." she muttered so low that if Amethyst had not been next to her, she wouldn't have heard her. But Amethyst only felt irritation at this - She didn't need _anybody's_ pity, especially not _Pearl's_. But that's when Amethyst noticed the expression on Pearl's face. She could tell that she was seriously worried about something. Most of the anger was replaced by concern for her friend.

"...Eh, _hey_ , it's no biggie..." Amethyst forced a small smile, and flashing it at Pearl, before decidedly jumping back down. Pearl only briefly glanced at her. She had finished the dishes by now and just stood there as Amethyst continued. "Or at least nothing to beat yourself up, or worry about me, over, P... 'sides, I'm feeling better and stuff now... And it's not like you knew or anything." Amethyst tried to assure her in a gentle but oh-so-small and unbenefiting voice, taking Pearl by surprise, as the purple gem turned around. " _Sigh..._ It's my fault for for not being able to keep control of my emotions for a mere not even four hours..."

"Amethyst, if you don't mind me asking... have you... have you had any other panic attacks recently aside from today?" Pearl asked. Truthfully, she wanted to ask about Amethysts's arms, but was afraid to load too much onto her at once, though she felt it another panic attack could have been when Amethyst did that to herself.

Amethyst grew silent, pondering it. Could what happened last night be considered a panic attack...? Possibly, she considered, but didn't want to tell Pearl or anybody that. If anything, last night was far more and different than a mere panic attack. The recent injuries(though they weren't healing partially because she didn't want them to. Somehow, they were a symbol that said she was the only one that could hurt her; that nobody else was allowed to decided how she felt about things, that she was the one in control, not Pearl, not Garnet, nobody except herself alone. And it was something she wanted to face alone to. But even if it had made her feel powerful in the past and last night, she had no intentions of telling the others it. The only person she knew of that had seen them were Rose, and that was an experience she wished she could forget. She had never seen somebody so worried and distraught before then, and since she had been doing it for a long time before that it was just something she had started doing to cope with the dead _silence,_ feeling that there was nobody she could ever relate to _, and sometimes even just to pass time out of boredom._ Of course, over time, it had evolved into more than just a source of entertainment.

She didn't fully understand why she did it, or what she was really doing to herself; didn't even entirely process it as being 'harmful' since she had known enough from from plenty of falls and things of similar caliber in the Kindergarten. So she assumed it didn't matter, as long as it was just her physical form she was destroying, not anything vital like her gem. But Rose Quartz apparently felt far different about this matter. The first time she had witnessed the injuries the younger gem had been inflicting on herself, she started to cry, simultaneously healing her injuries before pulling Amethyst into an embrace, stroking her back. Somehow it even made Amethyst want to cry too, and for the first time ever, she realized just how bad her coping mechanisms were in the eyes of other gems. That made her feel extremely guilty, especially since the same thing had happened several more times. At some point, not wanting to hold back Rose anymore - not that she ever seemed burdened by her. Plus, in that period in time, she was happy overall, and though they had never completely went away, she simply hadn't been noticing the urges as much. But ever since Rose gave up her physical form to bring Steven into the world, she had been battling with the urges more than ever before, yet not a single person, except for her, knew what it was putting her though.

She had slipped up a couple times, each time telling herself she wouldn't do it again. But what had not cutting herself earned her?

Well, for one, it given her more time to think on how different she was from Pearl and Garnet. The fact that they were constantly getting onto her about things, and telling her how "proper gems" were supposed to behave only enhanced the feeling of isolation.

Not to mention that they were both from Homeworld, while she was from Earth. That would never change no matter what anybody said, and after what happened to Rose, the small nagging voice that had been there ever since shortly after she met her, Garnet and Pearl; the voice that had been telling her she didn't belong anywhere or with anything only kept getting worse. The incident where Steven first saw a Kindergarten and Pearl told her that she was the only good thing that came out of all that had eased her mind for a bit, but then the voice came back full force. She shouldn't have been made, the injectors shouldn't have been built. She shouldn't be here right now. Her creation had only done damage to the Earth, along with the thousands of other gems created here.

Truth be told, there were simply times that, down deep, Amethyst felt extremely incompetent; as though she didn't even feel like she had the right to interfere with the connection Garnet and Pearl had had, since they were so much more _useful_ than her. She was constantly screwing things up and was undoubtedly a bad influence, especially right now in her state of mind.

"Amethyst...?" Pearl inquired with concern, as Amethyst had been silent for several minutes before she began to rub at her arms almost as if it were nervous habit, unshed tears shining in her eyes.

"Huh?" Amethyst blinked before quickly regaining her composure, as she felt that urge to cut worsening by the second. She needed to get out of here, if not to cut then at least to get some space. "Oh, sorry. You asked me if I've had any other panic attacks or something... Nope, none that I'm aware of..."

She had lied with surprising ease, before trying to cut things short. "Though can we please _not_ talk about anything right now...? I'm going to my room."

But come to think of it wasn't like it could seriously kill her, even though it could poof her if she wasn't careful, but that could be fixed with a quick rest-up. It was a far better alternative to shattering herself, after all, which she had most certainly thought about more than once. So why was she so against them knowing anything? It wasn't any of their business.

"So you plan to not talk to anybody for the rest of the day?"

"That's the plan..." Amethyst muttered.

Amethyst was quiet, as she heard that. Pearl continued. "Ugh, this is one of your problems, Amethyst... You don't ever want to let anybody in on anything, and then bottle things up and get upset because we don't know what you're feeling. Aren't we supposed to be a team?"

"...What?" Amethyst uttered. Little did they know that Steven had entered the front door and was listening to what they were saying. He wanted to step in and stop them, because he could tell that it could escalate into something serious if something wasn't done.

"Oh, a minute ago you were saying 'I'm sorry.', but now you suddenly think it's all my fault?!" Amethyst demanded, her voice cracking, sounding almost like choked laughter. "I guess... maybe you're right... You're from Homeworld, I'm from Earth, I know that, and it's not like I should even be here right now, anyway, but I'm only here because of Rose... _You_ would have shattered me if it hadn't been for _her_ decision to take me in, wouldn't you have...?"

At this point, Steven froze.

"Amethy-" Pearl tried to say, but Amethyst cut her off again.

"No, you can't understand what this feels like at all! Especially YOU! You keep saying sorry, but then you go back to criticizing and nagging at me over every little mistake I make, like nothing ever happened. I know mess everything a lot, okay? I know I can't get anything right, I know I'm nothing like the image _Rose_ _Quartz_ had of me, but you aren't the only one that hates me, Pearl!"

"You're wrong...I don't... hate you Amethyst." Pearl said after a few seconds, trying her best to keep herself calm, before deciding to make a bold move, because if it was left up to Amethyst alone, she would probably never confront anybody about anything. That's just how Amethyst was. She would hold things back, usually accept things as they were, until they just built up. "And Garnet and I know about them..."

Even though, there was no certain before, when Amethyst had been rubbing her arms a short while ago, Pearl had seen a couple of the slits, so she knew she could say that with certainty now.

"About what...?" Amethyst asked, trying to back away, when a strong hand grabbed hers lifting in up, to pull back voice spoke beside her answered

"About these." A voice spoke beside her. Startled, that's when she noticed Garnet there. How long had she been there?!

"Ugh, Garnet, what are you doing?! Let me go!" Amethyst started to fight back, when Garnet pulled back the smaller gem's sleeve to reveal the cuts.

Pearl said nothing, seeming to avert her gaze as if she didn't want to face either one of them. Amethyst's eyes widened a bit in panic, before looking away, obviously in a mixture of shame, but also anger(which was probably directed more at herself than any of them).

"I knew it." Garnet said beneath her breath. The whole room was silent at this point, everybody looking to Amethyst for answers, including herself.

"I think you have some explaining to do." Garnet

"It's none of your..." That's when Amethyst suddenly noticed Steven, who was watching them by the door, her panic coming back full force, if anything ten times worse.

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 **A/N: Hope it's decent lol. Please review if you want. That's probably way too much drama.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Story: Together, Chapter 4**

* * *

It was a fairly normal occurrence for a disagreement or two to break out between the Gems, or at least something Steven had become used to, especially when it came to Pearl and Amethyst. But it was fairly rare that Garnet felt the need to get involved much, and even rarer that things actually got physical or somebody had to be restrained. He didn't know what to think of the mention of his mother, but he couldn't stand to hear Amethyst putting herself down so much. And when Garnet had grabbed Amethyst's arm, and pushed her sleeve back, Steven felt his stomach drop uncomfortably upon noticing the scratches covering her arm. Who had done that to her? He didn't know what had happened, but he assumed it must be pretty bad if both Pearl _and_ Garnet felt the need to confront her over it. He wanted to know why it suddenly mattered so much if it was just her physical form. She had been injured a lot worse before, but they hadn't seemed nearly as worked up as they did now.

"...Hey, guys?" He finally found his voice, bringing himself to speak after meeting Amethyst's panicked gaze. She had started trying to pull away from Garnet, who seemed to tense upon hearing Steven's voice.

Pearl, meanwhile, gasped, startled by his presence.

"A-Oh, Steven! How long have you been standing there?" she sputtered nervously in an uneasy voice, walking over.

"Let me go, Garnet! I need to get out of here!" Amethyst shouted trying to jerk her arm out of Garnet's grip. She hadn't intended for Steven to find out or for him to hear any of what she had said. Were they going to be mad at her over _that_ too even though it was their fault for putting pressure on her in the first place?

" _Not_ happening. Amethyst, you need to calm down." Garnet told her.

"...A few minutes, I think... Pearl, what's going on?" Steven then responded to Pearl, looking up at her. "What happened to Amethyst's arm...?"

"I _can't_! Especially not with you and Pearl here, controlling me, and trying to tell me what I need to do when I already _know_ what I 'need' to do!" Amethyst shouted, glaring at Garnet.

Garnet and Pearl could pretty much guess what Amethyst thought she 'needed'. However, Garnet saw multiple futures in the instance of letting Amethyst go right now at this point, and of what could transpire, which made her all the more convinced that Amethyst really didn't need to be alone right now.

"Steven, you don't need to see this... I'll explain everything in a minute, but let's leave these two alone until Amethyst is a little more... tranquil... Alright?" Pearl said in a low voice to Steven, who seemed incredibly uncertain.

"I'm not _deaf_ , _Pearl_! I could hear you! I'll be more 'tranquil', when _she_ lets me go _rest in peace_!"

That _really_ came out wrong, they found themselves thinking, before Pearl spoke up. "Sorry, Amethyst. This is for your own good. We're not going to just stand by and let you continue doing that to yourself."

"Doing wha-?" Steven wanted to ask, but he was cut off by Amethyst before he could finish.

"Are you _serious_...?! ...After... _all this time_ , after _five hundred freaking years_ why is it that you've only _now_ noticed I've been doing this...? Why is it that you only now see that something is wrong? I just don't get it at all...'t isn't fair..." Amethyst's voice cracked again as she grabbed some of her hair with her free hand, pulling it down to hide her face. "...I've _always_ taken things out on myself in the end..."

Amethyst felt tears running down her cheeks, but was still obviously struggling to stop herself. "So I don't _need_ you guys to care about me..."

At that moment, Garnet pulled her into an embrace, telling her, "just let it out".

In an instant, Amethyst broke down into uncontrollable tears, her body shaking as she quickly returned the hug.

 _~End of Chapter_

 **A/N: I really hope this is okay. I understand that all things may not be entirely canon in this, since the timeline is a little confusing I don't know exactly when this takes place but I want it to be after Lapis and Peridot starting living in the barn.**


	5. Chapter 5 Part 1

**_Story: Together Chapter 5 Part 1  
Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe_**

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"Steven, I'm so sorry you had to hear that..." Pearl said, having stepped out of the house alongside Steven. She then kneeled down in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and looking into the confused and upset eyes of the fourteen-year-old. "Amethyst isn't feeling well right now..."

Steven was silent for a moment, before giving a small smile. However, despite this, Steven still felt conflicted on what he had just witnessed, but didn't let it be known.

"It's fine. Actually, I'm glad that I came when I did, because you guys normally don't talk about your feelings around me..." Steven may have been fairly young, but he didn't forget things and wasn't oblivious. He still noticed things, even if he didn't often know how to respond to them.

"Steven, I..." Pearl gave a conflicted expression on hearing that. She wanted to say something to refute his innocent curiosity of the gems, not wanting him to get too deeply involved in their affairs. But something stopped her. Steven had just as much of a right to care and worry for Amethyst, if not more, because out of anybody, Steven had accepted her, and never really got into arguments with Amethyst, unlike Pearl, so what right did she have not to allow Steven to know what was going on? If there was anybody that could help Amethyst, it would Steven, because of how well they got along with each other, and how he always tried to get to know and understand her and all of the other gems even when they pushed him away. Even so, how would Steven react to such a thing? How would he act, knowing that his friend, practically his older sister, was not only suffering, but actually tearing her physical manifestation to pieces. Even though Amethyst could heal herself, it still bothered even Pearl, knowing it just wasn't right. Just the thought of Amethyst hurting herself hurt Pearl as well. Not to mention that Amethyst might not even want to heal herself because she feels she somehow deserves those injuries, or likely other reasons.

What Pearl didn't understand was that Amethyst usually seemed so chill and relaxed; happy overall, so why would she turn to such a terrible thing for comfort? Suddenly, she remembered Amethyst's words.

 _"I've always taken things out on myself in the end!"_

That's when she _realized_. Had Amethyst been doing that ever since, or possibly even _before_ , they met each other? How many times had it been her fault...?

"You know..." Steven mumbled after a moment, likely to break the awkward silence between them. "I might have not realized she felt that way if she hadn't said anything. Amethyst doesn't show her true feelings much, so I think it's at least a little good that she got some things of out. At least you can have something to work with, right? I mean... even _Garnet_ can't read minds."

Pearl seemed surprised by his words, but were inspired by them all the same. She smiled, patting him on the head. Knowing any of Amethyst's frustrations would be some help in her recovery. It was certainly better than Amethyst not saying anything and let it bottle up even more. "Yes, you're right. Thank you, Steven."

"No problem..." Steven didn't reject the head pat, but he looked up at Pearl in expectancy. "but, Pearl, what were those... scratches on her arms? Did somebody hurt her?"

Steven asked the question Pearl had feared he would ask eventually, with a look of concern, throwing Pearl into a state of hesitation.

"Um, well, don't worry. It's not something you need to-"

"Don't lie to me! That's my friend and I want to know what's wrong with her..."

Pearl looked away, but gave in, trying her best to word it in a way that would make him understand. "...This... may not be a concept you can easily understand... But sometimes, when some people are in enough emotional pain, and don't know what to do... When stress, anger, or even sadness builds up from not being able to either release your feelings in a normal way, they may not know how to deal with it. They may even feel the need to hurt somebody else, but they often take it out on themselves instead, to make the other pain seem minimal. Do you understand what I'm saying..?"

Steven seemed confused for a brief second, before he looked shocked. "Amethyst has been... _hurting_ _herself_? Earlier, she told me she's been feeling kind of down, but I didn't think much of it... Do you think it's my fault for not pressing further...?" Steven didn't understand at all, and suddenly felt fear for his friend and guilt at the fact that he hadn't noticed something like that.

"No, of course not. None of this is your fault." Pearl said suddenly, negating his negative thoughts. "Even Garnet didn't fully predict it happening, but she managed to come to the dreaded concussion that most of us wouldn't even dream of. I... didn't know... I didn't even suspect a thing or at least didn't suspect that her situation was that bad... If anything, I'm the one to blame her." Pearl said honestly. She now knew a little bit about what Amethyst had been upset over, but didn't know the exact reasons Amethyst had turned to such a thing. She only understood from what she had observed and certainly wasn't an expert on this. However, she realized how worrying her uncertainty may have been, so she continued. "But don't worry. We are going to find out how to help her, okay?"

"So Amethyst is going to be alright, then?"

"Yeah..." Pearl said, even if she could make no promises. It was better than having the child worry so much. "We'll figure it out together."

Smiling lightly, she told him the same words Garnet had spoke earlier that day.

"Right..." Steven nodded, with a small smile.

"...Can I talk to her?" Steven asked.

"Actually, it might be best if you wait a little while until she calms down. Amethyst is probably going to want as much space as she can get for a little while."

"Oh, okay. I understand. I kind of need to clear my head anyway after all this."

"Take your time, and be careful, Steven."

"Alright! I'm gonna go talk to my dad for a while. See ya, Pearl!"

"...Wait...! Oh _Steven_..." Pearl called out, before sighing, upon realizing what Steven had just said as he ran off. It might not be a smart idea to bring Greg into this matter, hopefully that wasn't what Steven had in mind, but regardless, right now, Amethyst was of the top priority. And she didn't have the heart to shout louder to stop Steven. He needed to get his stress out to somebody, or it could end up with a situation like Amethyst, after all, which definitely wasn't something she wanted to see.

 _\- End of Chapter 5 Part 1_

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 **Sorry it's so short. Hope this is satisfactory for now.**


	6. Author's note

Hey, guys. I just want you all to know that I've not dropped this story and won't if I can help it. But, currently I'm in the process of moving and haven't found the motivation to write much, and have been really stressed and irritated, so try to be patient. I will update more when I can. I want to thank all of you for being so patient and also following and favoriting this story. The ones who reviewed in equal measure. :D

Thank you. I'll try to update when I can, but there might be a long space between updates because of this. The landlord wants us out of the house in the next month or so to do renovations. They just threw it on us, so it was really unexpected. Anyway, I'll try to get back when I can, so try to understand. uwu;;;


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